It took me two dates to love him, three weeks to learn what he called his deepest, darkest secret, five weeks to move in with him and six weeks to learn his (real) deepest, darkest secret.
We were “in liquidation” at work. I managed a retail location for one of the now-defunct movie rental chains. I was working, at minimum, 60 hours a week and on my way to being unemployed. And I had never been happier in my life. A few short weeks earlier I had met a man. And not just any man… the man. I was over-the-moon in love for the first time in fifteen years. I hadn’t quite put my finger on what it was about him yet but I knew he was very different from any other guy I had dated before. Boy did I have that right… Continue reading Park The Car →
Ambling around in a world of identical people,
my search had always been for someone who was not.
The roar of heartbeats and breath and meaningless conversation
drowned out anything of significance — until I found you.
Your words were rations for my starving heart.
The mob lost its power as we danced among them, finally within reach.
I held onto you a like a girl-child in a field of daisies… spinning around,
faster and faster until I could feel it happening but I couldn’t stop it.
I can’t recall if you let me go or I you but I do remember with perfect clarity
exactly how it felt when your fingertips slipped from mine.
I called out for you but the noise only grew stronger until you couldn’t hear.
And the crowd seeped in between us and once again I was lost.
I know it’s been way too long since I’ve posted anything here. I’ve been doing some re-grouping as most people do this time of year. And here’s one thing I’ve learned: posting here, perhaps, makes me a bit too introspective. I firmly believe that self-awareness is a good thing, but I need to better learn how to achieve that self-awareness without absolutely dwelling on certain aspects of my life that, more often than not, make me unhappy. So hopefully I will be able to post here more often, and actually make myself feel better rather than worse.
To catch you up… a few things that have happened during my AWOL period:
- The dog has taken to running out the back gate every time I leave the house and it’s driving me crazy.
- My grandfather passed away. He was 84 but basically in good health so it was a bit of a shock. He went in for some heart surgery, which he survived, but we lost him when they tried to take him off the machines in recovery. We buried him last week, complete with all the appropriate bells and whistles for an honored WWII veteran.
- The wipers on my car have mysteriously stopped working. We had our first snow/ice of the season a couple of weeks ago and I thought they were just frozen, but it’s 70 degrees this week and they still won’t work. Of course, this is happening now, as my car is recently paid off.
- There has been discussion of selling The Store. I really don’t want this to happen for several reasons, not the least of which is that I’ve had enough change for a while and I’d like things to just sort of “stay” for a while.
And because I was absent and missed the day we all did resolutions…
In 2005, I resolve:
- to quit smoking. By June30th.
- to lose 50 pounds. Which leads me to the next resolution
- to run 3 times a week. Got new running shoes for Christmas, so I’m ready.
- to increase my monthly billing for Kim’s Lilypad x2.
- to learn how to do more with my beautiful guitar than just look good holding it.
… learning to dance in the rain
It took me two dates to love him, three weeks to learn what he called his deepest, darkest secret, five weeks to move in with him and six weeks to learn his (real) deepest, darkest secret.
damaged calm 