Growing up I remember often thinking that life would be easier when I got older. And I guess some things are. On a lot of levels, I’m more confident. I don’t have to worry about pimples. My parents can’t tell me what to do. I have my own money that I can spend as I see fit. etc. etc. etc.
But what I didn’t count on is that some things get much harder. Like making friends, for example. How exactly does a woman of thirty meet new people? And how does she get to know them to the point of finding out if they have anything in common?
So many things have changed in the past couple of years. Two of my closest friends moved away. Far away. Two others got married. These were the people I hung out with. We were a perfect little circle. To make matters worse, I’m on the other side of a divorce now. And the few new people I meet are either married or in a relationship so that pretty much excludes me. It’s just weird to have the odd singleton in the mix.
But the fact of the matter is, I need to do something about this. Everything I do these days completely revolves around work. The only people I talk to outside of my family are clients and people who come into the store. Well, except for my best girlfriend, M. She’s amazing and the best friend I could hope for. But she lives in a grown up world where I feel like I don’t fit anymore. She has a real family of her own. Husband. Two kids. Cat.
So I realize that I need to fix this. And I want to fix it. I just don’t know how. I’ve considered taking a class at the local university but I’m afraid I’ll stick out as the old person in the class and not meet a soul. I really don’t like going out to clubs and besides, you can’t really meet anybody in a place like that.
Plus, I want to meet a man. A good man. Once upon a time I knew this guy who was attracted to smart girls. He would IM me from work and ask me what I was working on and the more studious it was, the better. And he was crazy for it. Now there were lots of things about him that made that particular guy not good for me. But I really want to believe that there’s a similar one out there who might not need a Barbie doll to be happy. And who I might possibly be able to hold an intelligent conversation with. And maybe, just maybe, he would have a job. But I’m not going to meet him sitting at my computer 18 hours a day.
So I must figure out how to make this happen or I will be destined, as Bridget would say, to die old and alone and eventually be eaten by wild dogs.
damaged calm 
This may or may not be for you, but have you thought about Cycling? I have met tons of people over the past 3 years through biking events. There are always local bike clubs that do weekly rides and lots of charity events to got to or teams to join. Plus, if you’re like me and do alot of mental/artistic things all day, it’s a way to let you mind be still for a little while and do something good for your body. Plus, were I not married, I’ve met several women that I definatly wouldn’t have minded dating.
Anyway, just an Idea…good luck:)
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As a traditional aged college student, I assure you, students might notice you’re a tad older than they, but you can still make friends. Don had kids almost my age and he was a good friend, and Mindy and I always joke together, though her kids are teens. Tom’s a great guy and gives me study hints. Moral of story: no one cares how old you are in college. Go for it! (make sure it’s a fun class though!)
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What the hell, I wrote a well thought-out comment, and it still hasn’t shown up. Maybe this one will push it out of blog limbo.
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when I was a kid I used to love catching ants to try and start an ant farm. But whenever I’d get really excited and determined to make it work, I couldn’t find any ants! Damn things! They’re everywhere when you don’t want them, but when you really need them, they’re nowhere to be seen.
moral of the story: if you want to start an ant farm, don’t go looking for the ants. Let the ants find you.
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Don’t listen to Duckie, he’s lying anyway, he never started an ant farm.
My missing comment said: You’re probably in a position to meet people all the time, but because you’re not in a traditional “meet people” place you let the opportunity pass. As in, you may be at 7-11 and see a chick you think looks cool to hang out with but because you’re in 7-11 you feel awkward going up to talk. I recently met a girl on a plane, and I thought it would be stupid to give her my contact info, but I did it anyway. I figured, she’s cool, she’s moving to CA and we could both use a new friend. Ok, so she never emailed me but oh well, you can’t fault me for trying, right? Just because I’m a dorkass and nobody wants to be my friend doesn’t mean…sob sob sob…
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don’t listen to Cindy. She is exploring her Bi-curiuos feelings and trying to pick up on chicks on airplanes. Cindy, that chick was gettin’ the lesbo vibe a little too hard. That’s why she didn’t call you. The fact that you’re a dork could have something to do with it as well.
Kim, don’t try and pick up on chicks at 7-11. Very low class of women you meet there. I speak from experience. I met my wife there.
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Duckie makes me laugh. hehe. See? Laughing.
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I wasn’t being funny. I’m serious. Stay away from 7-11.
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